Kinda bring to mind the two morons caught stealing saddles and tack at a local rodeo a few years back. Sheriff found them naked, hodtied, a horseshoe tied to their sacs witha pigging string and left hanging on a fence. Don't know if the story is entirely true, but the suspects were neighbors of mine and I wouldn't put it past them. Sheriff did find a safe hanging on a rope in their septic tank while investigating the thefts. Would you believe they never went to prison. They were back on the streets in less than a week.