Thread: If you think you got it bad.....

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Originally Posted by TyphoonZR

First thing that I notice that is in error in all the above situations, each one only had one wife at any one given time.

Why do you have more than one???

I know a guy that married his high school sweet-heart got divorced in about 1990 and got then got back togther with her again in 1994 and then re-married again in 1997 and I think they got divorced again in 2003,last I heard they where dating again but I don't think they are married but I could be wrong.Yes,this is crazy.

Sad for your brother. I just want to add my agreement with what Pops says about the credit issues. I know your bro has a lot on his mind, but he really needs to shut down all the lines of credit NOW! If he thinks it's bad now, it'll be a whole lot worse when he gets back and has to try to dig out of a huge butt load of debt the (female dog explitive) will try to stick him with.

A guy I knew divorced and remarried the same girl 4 times. They said something about they better make it work out this time because the law (maybe in Oklahoma where they lived) only let you do that 4 times.

Talk about a Glutton for punishment!!

Don

Thanks for all the advice. I talked with him for over an hour about how he can't trust her. I told him he better get a legal separation or she'd ruin his credit while he was gone. I also advised him to get an estate manger in his abscence. He wouldn't listen to any of it. I think it just about killed him to admit he was headed for a divorce. I guess she moved out for a while over a year ago and they had been seeing a marraige counselor. When she moved back in she said her previous affairs were because she was bored...sounds familiar. He made a radical change in his life, stopped working late, came home before she did and worked on dinner, the house whatever, to be there for her and his daughter.
This time after moving into the new house for 1 day, she wanted to commit suicide. He refered her to their counselor. The counselor said she would do nothing unless his wife came to her. She had stopped taking ....yes...the 2000 buzzz word... "antidepressants" about the time she left him the first time. I was blown away to hear all of this as my brother has never mentioned any problems, ever until last month!
The story reads like a bad book. Her first affair was with her plastic surgeon and boss who, by the way she still works for! Her second was with a guy she picked up in a bar. It seems she has some need for people to notice her, so she and her best friend cruise bars and flirt with guys.
After hearing all of this I told him you've gotta get a lawyer and build a case against her. Evidently he has records of all her phone calls with all of these affairs, and seems to think that's enough!
I think he's so down in the dumps, that with shipping out to Iraq, he can't bring himself to do anything right now. When I talked with him at least he wasn't suicidal.
The funny thing is the day his wife wanted a divorce in WA, they had been married exactly 9 and a half years. In WA it takes six months to finalize a divorce, per my brother, and in the military your spouse is entitled to half your pension if you have been married for ten years! What a coniving beochhh!
By the way he is her second husband. I just hope that carma comes around to bite her in the ass!
Thanks for letting me vent here. It helps to let off steam with you guys!

Originally Posted by erik erikson

Why do you have more than one???

Haha, I love it Erik. Mutiple wives is the answer, no doubt. But in my god-forsaken land, we are not permitted to having more than one wife at a time, so I am reduced to having concubines/sweethearts on the side, if you will.

Does my first wife of 32 years like it, he!! no. It makes her jealous. But hey, I'll tell you one thing for sure, she is in the running. I mean at alll times. She makes sure she stays fit and trim and is willling to .... well you know, any time

This might be cruel, but if he doesn't get his head on straight he stands a good chance of not coming back. I'm sure others will agree.

Steve, anyone who has been through this sort of situation will tell you, he is not himself right now. People take it in different ways, some shut down, some get violent, etc. I got so crazy my whole life at that time revolved around what I was going to do to him, when in fact it was her that I should have been upset with. Sometimes people on the outside can see things we can't see because we are too close to the situation. My best friend Pete told me " if you even consider going back with her I am going to beat the h*** out of you." All our friends could see the situation for what it was, except for me.

It sounds like he is in a relationship with an unstable woman, and he is enabling this behavior. He has put up with several infedelities and taken her back. Either he is the eternal optimist or very blind. The sad part is, sometimes you can't save people from themselves, no matter how much we love them. He has to decided for himself that it is truly not a healthy relationship and terminate it himself, in his own mind. As logical as your talks are with him, he isn't ready to hear it.

I don't know what the answer is, maybe there is none. They may very well become one of the statistics of people whose lives go down the tubes through this rift in their relationship. All you can do is be there for him.

Don

Originally Posted by TyphoonZR

Haha, I love it Erik. Mutiple wives is the answer, no doubt. But in my god-forsaken land, we are not permitted to having more than one wife at a time, so I am reduced to having concubines/sweethearts on the side, if you will.

Does my first wife of 32 years like it, he!! no. It makes her jealous. But hey, I'll tell you one thing for sure, she is in the running. I mean at alll times. She makes sure she stays fit and trim and is willling to .... well you know, any time

Not only that,remember in our country we don't have a lot of spousal killings,but we have a lot of "hunting accidents"! On the main topic,his wife has a diagnosed "mental illness" if she's been prescribed antidepressants,this could be child endangerment if she's stopped taking them against Doctor's advice.He must think of the child 1rst and foremost!