A day in the life of a 10 year old boy

For my 10th birthday, my dad got me one of those little longbow Robin Hood 'beginner' kits, of course the first month I went around our land shooting arrows into anything that could get stuck by an arrow.

Did you know that a Farmall tractor takes 6 shots before it goes down?

This got boring, so I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirts doused in chainsaw gas wrapped around the end, and was sending flaming arrows all over the place, just like on the cowboy and Indian shows on Saturday afternoon. Keep in mind this was in the middle of plowed farm land, so no real fire danger.

One spring afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large oak stump in our backyard. I looked over at the carport and saw a shiny, brand new can of starting fluid (ether). The light bulb went off. I grabbed the can of starting fluid and set it on the stump. I thought that it would probably just spray out in a disappointing manner... let's face it, to a 10yr. old, "ether" doesn't sound flammable. So I went into the house and got a 1 pound can of dad's muzzle loader black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little around the ether can, but it all sorta dumped out on me. No big deal I thought... 1 pound of black gun powder and 16 oz. of starting ether should make a pretty loud pop, kinda like a 2" firecracker you know? You know what? The heck with that, I'm going back into the house for the other can. Yes, I got a second can of powder and dumped it too!

Now we're cooking! I stepped back about 15 yds. and lit the chainsaw gas soaked arrow. I drew the nock to my cheek and let it fly. As I released, I heard a swish as the arrow launched from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my dad getting out of his truck... Oh No! He had just gotten home from work. So help me God, it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the ether can target. My dad was walking toward me in slow motion with a "what's happening" look in his eyes. I turned back toward my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the either can right at the bottom, right through the main pile of black powder.

When the shock wave hit, it knocked me off my feet. I don't know if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back, or just a reflex jerk from the 265 decibels of sound. I caught a half millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion, and I will tell you there, hovering 1 foot above the ground as far as I could see, and low to the ground a dust fog, full of grasshoppers, bugs and tree bark. The daylight turned purple, let me repeat this... THE DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE! There was a big pear tree out by the back gate going into the pasture... notice I said 'was'. So here I am on the ground, blown completely out of my shoes, my T-shirt shredded, and my dad is on the other side of the carport having, what I can only assume, are flashbacks of his WWII combat experiences. His hat had been blown off his head and was 35 feet behind him in the dirt driveway. All the windows on the North side of the house were blown out and there was a slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000 feet high over our backyard. I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment... I know I said something, but I couldn't hear, I couldn't even hear inside my own head. I don't think dad heard me either... not that it really matters. I don't remember much from this point on. I said something, felt sharp pain, and then woke up later, felt more sharp pain, blacked out, woke later... then there was a repeat this process for an hour or so. You get the idea. I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR, so dad could whallop me some more. Brought me back to life so dad could kill me again. Thanks mom!

One thing for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again. Mom had been bitchin' about that stump for years. I stepped up to the plate and took care of business!

Dad sold all his muzzle loaders a week or so later, and I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality, either from the blast, the beating, or both! And that, friends was only one day in my 10 year old life, way back then