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Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel
          
   
   

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  1. #3931
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    So a female employee got an expensive pen as a birthday gift from her boss. She sent him a 'Thank you note' by email:

    Boss’s wife read the email and filed for divorce.

    The email said: Your penis wonderful and I enjoyed using it last night. It has extra ordinary smooth flow and a firm stroke. I loved its perfect size and grip. Felt like I was in heaven when using it. Thanks a lot.!

    Moral: A "space" is an essential part of English grammar!
    NTFDAY, glennsexton, 34_40 and 3 others like this.
    johnboy
    Mountain man. (Retired.)
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
    I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

  2. #3932
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Car Year, Make, Model: `47 Ford sedan, A.C.Cobra replica.
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    I know a guy that is really clever. He makes guitars out of pool cues.

    He calls them acuestick guitars.
    NTFDAY and t-top havoc like this.
    johnboy
    Mountain man. (Retired.)
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
    I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

  3. #3933
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Tataraimaka NZ
    Car Year, Make, Model: `47 Ford sedan, A.C.Cobra replica.
    Posts
    2,676

    I launched a set of books today aimed at small children.

    Even managed to hit three of the little beggars...
    NTFDAY and 34_40 like this.
    johnboy
    Mountain man. (Retired.)
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
    I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

  4. #3934
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    May 2005
    Location
    Tataraimaka NZ
    Car Year, Make, Model: `47 Ford sedan, A.C.Cobra replica.
    Posts
    2,676

    I met my wife at a singles dance.

    I was quite surprised, as I thought she was at home with the kids.
    NTFDAY, 34_40 and t-top havoc like this.
    johnboy
    Mountain man. (Retired.)
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
    I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

  5. #3935
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Tataraimaka NZ
    Car Year, Make, Model: `47 Ford sedan, A.C.Cobra replica.
    Posts
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    This young Cowboy in the Old West wanted to be the best gunfighter alive. One night as he was sitting in a saloon, he spotted an old man who had the reputation of being the greatest gunfighter in his day.
    The young Cowboy walked up to the old man and told him his dream. The old man looked him up and down and said, "I have a suggestion that is sure to help."
    "Tell me, tell me," said the young Cowboy. "Tie the bottom of your holster lower onto your leg."
    "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" "Definitely," said the old man.
    The young Cowboy did what he was told and drew his gun and shot the bow tie off the piano player. "Wow, that really helped. Do you have any more suggestions?"
    "Yeah, if you cut a notch in the top of your holster where the hammer hits, the gun will come out smoother." "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" "It sure will," said the old man.
    The young Cowboy did what he was told and drew his gun and shot a cufflink off the piano player. "This is really helping me. Is there anything else you can share with me?" "One more thing," said the old man. "Get that can of axle grease over there in the corner and rub it all over your gun."
    The young Cowboy didn't hesitate but started putting the grease on the barrel of his gun. "No, the whole gun, handle and everything," said the old man.
    "Will that make me a better gunfighter?"
    "No," said the old man, "but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing that piano, he's going to shove that gun up your ass, and it won't hurt as much!"
    NTFDAY, TOW'D, glennsexton and 3 others like this.
    johnboy
    Mountain man. (Retired.)
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
    I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

  6. #3936
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Tataraimaka NZ
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    Did you know that in Hawaii it is illegal to laugh out loud?

    You have to keep it to A Lo Ha.
    NTFDAY and t-top havoc like this.
    johnboy
    Mountain man. (Retired.)
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
    I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

  7. #3937
    rspears's Avatar
    rspears is offline CHR Member/Contributor Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Car Year, Make, Model: '33 HiBoy Coupe, '32 HiBoy Roadster
    Posts
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    On a Holman/Moody Intake - OOOOPS!!
    -
    FE Firing.jpg
    NTFDAY, TOW'D, glennsexton and 2 others like this.
    Roger
    Enjoy the little things in life, and you may look back one day and realize that they were really the BIG things.

  8. #3938
    34_40's Avatar
    34_40 is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Car Year, Make, Model: 34 Ford 3W Coupe Replica
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    and my amplifiers go to 11 !! LOL
    NTFDAY and t-top havoc like this.

  9. #3939
    rspears's Avatar
    rspears is offline CHR Member/Contributor Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Car Year, Make, Model: '33 HiBoy Coupe, '32 HiBoy Roadster
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    Quote Originally Posted by 34_40 View Post
    and my amplifiers go to 11 !! LOL
    and I don't understand that at all!
    t-top havoc likes this.
    Roger
    Enjoy the little things in life, and you may look back one day and realize that they were really the BIG things.

  10. #3940
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    I'd 'ate to try and work that out!
    NTFDAY and t-top havoc like this.
    johnboy
    Mountain man. (Retired.)
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
    I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

  11. #3941
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Tataraimaka NZ
    Car Year, Make, Model: `47 Ford sedan, A.C.Cobra replica.
    Posts
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    I went into an electrical shop and I said to the owner "I need a battery so I can tell the time."
    He said "Is it for a clock?"
    I said "I don't know. That's why I need the battery."
    NTFDAY and t-top havoc like this.
    johnboy
    Mountain man. (Retired.)
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
    I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

  12. #3942
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Location
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    Car Year, Make, Model: `47 Ford sedan, A.C.Cobra replica.
    Posts
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    Years ago some climbers were the first to get go the top of a mountain. They put up a flag and said "Here we are at the top of ????
    "Hey what can we call it?"
    "We can't call it 'The Top', what can we call it ?
    One climber said " Well we'll have to call it summit "
    NTFDAY and t-top havoc like this.
    johnboy
    Mountain man. (Retired.)
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
    I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

  13. #3943
    34_40's Avatar
    34_40 is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Car Year, Make, Model: 34 Ford 3W Coupe Replica
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    Quote Originally Posted by rspears View Post
    and I don't understand that at all!
    From an old spoof movie called Spinal Tap. Just seemed to fit the part when I read the firing order.

  14. #3944
    34_40's Avatar
    34_40 is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Quote Originally Posted by 34_40 View Post
    From an old spoof movie called Spinal Tap. Just seemed to fit the part when I read the firing order.
    And just because... here is a clip. https://www.youtube.com/shorts/fIrT_uNxPrc
    t-top havoc likes this.

  15. #3945
    t-top havoc is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Quote Originally Posted by 34_40 View Post
    And just because... here is a clip. https://www.youtube.com/shorts/fIrT_uNxPrc

    CLASSIC!!
    Great placement on your first post!!
    Admittedly I did LoL!!
    34_40 likes this.

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